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Crawl Line

(Bleak Insight)

I can't sleep, I can't breathe. It's too hot, I'm too troubled
Open the window, I need some air. I feel so stifled in here
It's been so long, so long since last I slept
I just want, I just need to get out, to get away
To be alone, alone in the night.
Restless state, awake, head rotates thought
In my dismay, mind overwrought
Now I look down on the change with no pride
Ideal and standard consumed in the tide
Tired of confusion, depression drown me
Driven by conscience, a stone in the sea
Dazed, slipping, spinning, whirling, reeling inside
Pressure killing me, passion filling me, problems pulling me down
Clawing through the pain, clinging to the sane, clutching straws again
Ice cold rain seeps down my spine, it chills the bone, with bitter lines
The freezing wind, through sodden clothes, what type of fool am I?
Out in the dark I'm all alone, I must be mad to try
Behind a mask, child within, bitten, feel the bitter sting inside
Awaken something new, one mind torn in two. It's so cold.
No commendation for all I've done, no compensation tonight will come
No celebration, no contribution, no communion from constitution
Proud but dazed I contemplate my situation
In many ways I complicate conciliation
So many grays so many contradictions
So many days confronting my convictions
Is there no other way? Is there a better way?
I won't believe it. It can't be true
Secrets, so many secrets, lies, little white lies
Secrets, so many secrets, lies, eat me inside
Raised as one. Sad truth. Last son. Remorse of youth
They are lust. Dark pain. Life cost. I can't regain
Torn in two. My head. Red, blue. So many dead
All around me, cities falling down, chaos surrounds, darkness abounds
Decay of our nation, silent crawl to the edge
In disintegration, as we enter the web
I'm no hero